It's a slow day. After 9, when I really wish we could close, this guy comes in. He looks like Sean's dad on Psych, which makes me think, "Hey, that must be my astronomy teacher this fall, because that's what K said he looked like." And then I'm looking, and I think, "Man, this guy is a clone!" And I can't decide if that's the teacher or the actor... I mean, I can't remember what K said about what level of identical-ness the teacher was... and then I see that his shirt says soapbox derby. "It's got to be the actor, because he's directing a movie about the soapbox derby." And then my heart rate went up... L. KNEW it was Corbin Bernsen and was like, "I'm gonna let him be... I don't want to bother him, he's with family and stuff" and I'm like, "Oookkk..... sigh." If I had been semi-alone near the front doors when he went by to leave, I like to think I would have asked for his autograph, but I was with some of the coworkers when he left. So I didn't.
That wasn't the exciting part.
I'm closed. It takes like ten minutes. I help C., because he's really behind. We talk, I help out. I start sweeping. He says he went to a rap concert last night with his friends, and he's never going again. He didn't really like rap to begin with, and now he knows he hates it. No talent, repetitive, whatever...
C: "So what music do you listen to?"
Me: "Oh... Broadway.... Disney... Mostly Christians stuff actually."
"Oh that's cool... I grew up on Christian stuff. I grew up in the Catholic church... Except not really lately... Now I don't really know what I believe..."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, like, I believe in God, definitely, because we have a conscience, knowing right from wrong, and I believe God gave us that. I think that as long as you do good things and treat others right, then you're good to go."
"Ok... Let me ask you this... jog your brain a little."
"Yeah, sure."
"If you were to die tomorrow, how sure are you that you would get into heaven?"
"Well, I dunno, pretty sure I guess. I mean, I'm a good person, I treat others as I want them to treat me... But I don't think anyone can really know for sure..."
"Would it shock you if I said that I'm 100% positive I'm going to Heaven?"
"No."
"Really?"
"Yeah, I mean, you're the nicest person I've ever met, and I mean that."
"Aww, thanks."
"You can really tell someone's personality when you work with them, so yeah, you're really nice."
(By the way, sometimes you can't tell someone's personality when you work with them. You see the "work" version of the person. But moving on.)
":-) Here, let me ask you something else."
"Shoot."
"Where is the line then? Where does God say, 'Okay, you're not good enough, but you are.'?"
"Well, I think our conscience is the line, ya know? If you follow your conscience then you'll get into heaven."
"So everything's kinda relative? Different people's consciences are different to a degree."
"Yeah, I suppose..."
(I could have gotten into how one man thinks it's okay to steal for his family while another man thinks that's wrong, or the pro-life, pro-choice issue... but I didn't really think of it, and he moved on:)
"Yeah, the Catholic church says that all types of sins can be forgiven, but I think there are some that can't, they're just too bad. Have you ever watched 'green something something killer'?"
"No."
(Basically a serial killer rapes and kills like, 70 people.)
"I think that ****** is going to Hell."
"Ok, I'm going to say something a little (shocking? controversial? I can't remember what I said) but..."
"Go ahead, it's fine."
"I think if that guy repented of his sins, believed that Jesus died for his sins and rose again to pay for them, that that guy would go to heaven."
(some polite response that I can't remember) "Yeah, I dunno, I just think that's too much."
(I'm not sure what goes here, but I think he said something about how it would be terrible for God to send people to hell because they believed the wrong religion, like, Jesus vs Muhammad and Buddha and stuff...)
I started listing how Jesus was a perfect man, Muhammad wasn't. Jesus said that all I have to do is believe that he died and rose again for my sins while Muhammad says that I have to do all this stuff, and maybe I'll get there...
C: "Can I ask you a (wasn't personal, a... something?) question?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
"If you didn't grow up in a Christian family, but grew up, like in a Muslim family or something, would you come up with the same conclusions then?"
"Well..." (gather thoughts... I think God saved me here because L. interrupted, and I wasn't sure what to say...)
L: "What if you get up to heaven, and God says, screw you, I sent Jesus to die for the people in his time, he doesn't apply to you, haha, you're going to hell?"
"(I kinda repeat what he says...) So you're saying that Jesus dying wasn't-"
"Wasn't good enough, yeah."
(I'm kinda like... ok, this is somewhat new... and Dad said before to make the point that they think that Jesus' death wasn't good enough, but he never told me what to say if they were like, yeah, exactly. He said later that usually that's enough to quiet people a little.)
L: "Like, Jesus died thousands of years ago, and since then the sins have gotten much worse, have piled higher than his sacrifice could reach" (basically is what he was saying, not in so many words).
"Well, the Bible says that if you believe in your heart that Jesus rose from the dead and confess with your mouth he is lord, you will be saved." (Ok, I was on the spot, it wasn't actually that awesome).
"Yeah, those people for that time. Jesus died once for those people, that's it."
"The Bible says that Jesus died once for all and all can be saved through Him."
"Yeah, I don't really believe the Bible, it was written too long ago, doesn't apply" (Basically it was good for them, not me.)
C: "Yeah, I don't really (I can't remember if he said "believe the Bible," or what, but it was something about not taking the Bible seriously, literally, something like that... kinda like some of those stories are just stories or myths. But I didn't really get the chance to call him on that.)
L: "I mean, I'm not trying to dis your opinion in any way."
"No no, I get that, you're just stating your opinion."
"Exactly."
"That's fine, I love hearing it."
(I think a space of forgetfulness... L. leaves)
C: "You were raised same as me, and-"
"Actually, I'm not Catholic, I'm Christian -- non-denominational."
"Oh, how's that different?"
"Well... gimme a sec... (Darn it, I've asked Dad about this, but I don't really remember everything...) We don't pray to Mary... Catholics think that you can basically do anything as long as you confess later-" (I was a little too overstating there, not all Catholics believe that. I would say the majority don't.)
"Yeah, that's wrong"
"Yes, it is, I agree with you there... And they say that the sacraments help you get to heaven and stuff, but we believe that Jesus dying is enough." (I didn't mention baptism... hmmm...)
L comes back with a thought:
L: "How would you explain Noah's Ark then?" (starts going on about Noah, and i'm like, ??)
"Wait, what's the question?"
"What if Noah was strike one -- Noah builds a boat, sails off, God destroys all of mankind... strike one. Then God sent his son to die for the people of that time, strike two. What if now we're on strike three, and we're out, and we're going to hell?"
"Well... (Something here...)"
(He says something about his idea of god being like, not forgiving or whatever, something to that effect, like he's just playing with us and having fun.)
"If that's how God is, then I would not want to believe that god. I would tell him he should have made me born at a different time."
"Yeah, like, I hate you for not editing the Bible in the past thousand years." (or something.)
"Yeah, I would not like that god. I understand that.... So where did you get this opinion from?"
"Oh, I just thought it up myself, just now walking by."
(Everyone's talking at once a bit right here, but I hear C say:
C: "I got my ideas from -----" (Basically his happy place. Wonderful...)
....S. walks by...
"what about you S.? What do you believe?"
" I dunno, mumble mumble, haven't really thought about it a whole lot" walks on....
(can't remember what's next... got back onto the good people going to hell)
"What about all those people in Africa, who haven't even heard of Jesus?"
"Well, A) we're supposed to tell them. B) There are some amazing... equivalents? No, that's not the word I want... but we'll go with it... equivalents of Jesus in the different African cultures. Like, there's one where, if there are two tribes warring, but they want to make peace, they kinda swap kids... there's this whole ceremony where the kids are 'reborn' into the new tribe. And when the missionaries came, they could use that to relate what Jesus did to their culture."
"But what if the Christians don't come?"
"God says we should. He said we should go and tell everybody."
"But what if we don't, and they don't hear about Jesus? Are they going to hell?"
"Well... yeah, pretty much." (Though I think I may be wrong... and I was wrong for not being all like, it's up to God, not us to say who gets into heaven and who doesn't. I might have been wrong here, I dunno...)
"See now that I just can't believe. So some good people who have never heard of Jesus will go to hell, but some murderers can go to heaven? How is that fair?"
"Life's not fair."
L: "Exactly. You just said it. Life isn't fair. So what if God says screw you, life isn't fair, you're not getting into heaven because you guys sinned too much?"
(I go ok, maybe I shouldn't have said life's not fair. maybe I sould have said, God's forgiveness/grace isn't fair. There's a difference. Plus, those "good people" do NOT deserve it any more than murderers. I never got that point across, that good people are still sinners and they still deserve hell too.)
Basically that was it. There was a little chat about how awesome that conversation was, but then we were pretty much closed, so I had to clock out and leave. So yeah, crazy night.
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